Chronicling the creative process for Pop Zeus, the forthcoming Guided By Voices/Bob Pollard tribute comic- including sketches, concepts, finished art and whatever else is in my brain at the moment.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

This Is What We're Tired Of

Still thrashing through the design phase of Pop Zeus. Unfortunately drawing usually requires a lot more energy for me than writing. And that really doesn't make a whole lot of sense when I think about it. My problem is that I have a lot higher expectations and am much more judgmental in the art process than in the writing process. I tend to get discouraged rather easily when the drawings aren't coming out right. It's obviously something I am aware of, which is a good first step. So I am trying to take the pressure off so that the design phase moves forward as smoothly as the writing phase.

Speaking of pressure, adding tremendously to the problem and delay of late has been my ever present work burn-out. 3 years of relentless hard labor at the animation studio with few and insubstantial breaks have left me a shell of my former self. And the last few weeks have been especially brutal. I needed the entirety of Saturday the last two weekends to recover from the week. And by recovering, I mean spending most of the day in bed, groggy and out of it (caught up on my Battlestar Galactica, I suppose). It's totally cut into my kung fu training, which is very frustrating. Also, I woke up with splitting headaches both days- very unusual for me.

The thought that I've been suffering through some sort of depression did occur to me. I realized that I'm really not much busier than usual- why would I be so tired. Plus I am creeping up on a long-dreaded anniversary which I mentioned in the blog a ways back.

But this past Sunday, I woke up and felt better, a lot better. And I went to kung fu and felt really good in spite of a tough class. And then I went and hung out with my friend Alvin in Berkeley (home of the anniversary-dreaded girl) and it was alright (unlike last time when I was gripped with fear just being there- ug).

So I've pretty much concluded that I'm just tired. The greatest gift anyone could give me would be a long, relaxing vacation. God willing, that will happen some day. Until then, I will keep doing what I can to get some kind of balance in my life. But between the continuous pressures of work, feeling like I'm being replaced at work, job searching, dating (sort of), bad financial pressures, working on Pop Zeus, working toward my black belt, and updating this blog, it's a constant struggle.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep working hard on Pop Zeus when you can. It is definitely worth it. Try to let it engerize you!

Don't let The Man get you down at the animation station, either. You gots fans!

12:46 PM

Blogger Phil said...

Thanks! Your support is mucho appreciated. Pop Zeus, in it's short history, has been a big source of energy for me- a real kick in the pants. Just lately the wee Higglytown Heroes have been beating down the Zeus. It's not right!

3:28 PM


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